boys who can pull off facial hair are hot
i think you’re supposed to use a razor
so i have two days of school left and my teacher decided to give us an essay, and i’ll p much be turning in this
How Did You Find That Untagged Post From 11 Months Ago a story of confusion, fear, and general unease
NOOOOOO! I JUST PUT THESE ON!!!!
if I had a dollar for every time a band ruined my life, i might actually be able to afford band merch
*dentist slaughters family in front of you*
they’re bleeding because you don’t floss
Fun fact: Humans are deuterostomes, which means that when they develop in the womb the anus forms before any other opening. Which basically means at one point you were nothing but an asshole.
some people never develop beyond this stage
i asked my italian grandfather if the rough parts of italy were called the spaghetto and look at me w/ so much shame
reasons to date me:
-i can pick stuff up with my feet sometimes
-ive never killed a man (yet)
-i once got 95% on guitar hero
-you can play with my hair
-im cheaper than a puppy
And don’t forget:
-Can hold breath for 30 seconds
-has begginers luck
when I’m old, kids will think I’m so ancient because it’s like ‘Holy shit you were born in the nineteen hundreds’
We’ll be the last humans to be born in a year beginning with “1”
The oldest person alive was born on April 19, 1897, meaning that April 18th, 1897 was approximately the last time the Earth was inhabited by an entirely different set of people and if you don’t think that’s the realist shit ever then you can get right on outta town.